Prompts and Plot Bunnies
by 2AM
Summary: My dumping ground for one-shorts about prompts from the jello forever board. Chapter 7: Just a drabble for Tromana's prompt on LJ 'Jane/Spohie, Doctor/Patient Boundaries, Rating: K, have fun reading!
1. Flirting and Sweet

Title: Prompts and Plot Bunnies

Disclaimer: I do not own the mentalist

Pairings: Jello

Warnings: none, I think

Spoilers: none

AN: So I have some spare time and I asked my sister for a number between 1 and 400, she said 288 and when I was all scared of the prompt ("flirting") she said 349 ("sweet")... and that's how this little thing came to be... warning: unbeta'd all mistakes are mine... or yours if you want to keep them ;)

**Flirting/Sweet **

Jane and I are on the way back to Sacramento after questioning some friends and relatives of our latest victims in her hometown 'Very-far-away-in-the-middle-of-nowhere'. It's 3.49 am. The radio is turned off because we're outside the reception area of any of the stations we both like and I'm tired, cranky and contrary and therefore refuse to compromise.

Jane looks like he's about to fall asleep. "Jane?"

"Mmm?"

"If you fall asleep and crash the car I'll kill you."

"What if I'm already dead?"

"I'll resurrect you and then I'll kill you."

"Hmm. Really?"

"Yeah." I can't suppress a yawn. It's just too late... early... whatever for me to be still awake. Not after spending hours driving to 'Middle-of-Nowhere', running in circles when up there and trying to understand why anybody would want to kill a budding soccer mom.

I try to remember what musical instrument she played, her father mentioned it, I think, but my brain is too muddled to come up with the right answer... Piano... or was it the violin?

When I wake up it's just after 7pm. My back and neck hurt. Jane's sitting in the driver's seat fast asleep. The car is parked next to a diner. The sun is just rising over the desert. I try to figure out where we are and how long we still have to drive till we reach Sacramento, but Jane must have turned off the GPS System some time during the night and we happen to be in the car that needs a lot of bribing by a more technology-savvy person than me to turn it back on. I take the keys and get out of the car. I need a restroom and coffee and I need them now.

I return to the car a few minutes later carrying two paper cups. Jane is leaning against the driver's side, staring at the sunrise.

"You look sweet when you're sleeping." He doesn't turn around to make sure it's me.

I hold out one of the cups in silent greeting. He takes it and carefully sips on the hot drink.

"I figured you'd prefer coffee over tea in a place like this."

He nods appreciatively. "You figured right."

"Remind me why we didn't stop at a motel somewhere?" I'm still way too tired.

"Believe me, Lisbon, if I'd had known you were planning on seducing me I'd have..."

"Do you want me to shoot you?"

"Not really, a homicide would really spoil the mood."

"Then why do you keep tempting me?"

He opens his mouth to answer but I interrupt him. "And don't you dare to twist the words in my mouth again!"

Jane sighs and rolls his eyes. "Did you know that threatening me is your way of expressing the attraction you feel for me?"

"Are you saying that when I say that I want to shoot you, I am really saying that I want to screw you?"

He blinks a little surprised at that. Score one for Lisbon!

"Well... yes, I think that's what I'm saying."

"Jane," I take a deep breath. "You have exactly 30 seconds to get out of my range of fire."

The door-to-door salesman in the car next to ours chooses this moment to come back from his own coffee run and looks at me like he's not sure if he should hightail it out of here or call the police.

"Don't worry, it's just her way of flirting with me, you know those career police girls, violent streak and insecurities all rolled up in one perfectly cute package."

I close my eyes and enjoy the feeling of the first warm rays of sunlight on my cheeks. They're not warm because I'm blushing. They're not. And I'm silent because I'm not dignifying that with an answer. It has nothing to do with my treacherous brain going completely dim-witted every time Blondie smiles at me. So there.

**The end**

AN2: You get very relaxed, you think of the happiest moment in your life, you think about how sad i am going to be if you don't leave me a review... when you're done reading you click the button... and forget about the whole hypnotizing thins ;)


	2. Paper and Precious

Title: Paper/Precious

Disclaimer: I do not own the mentalist... Camden is mine however!

Pairings: Jello, RigsPelt

Warnings: complete and utter fluff... don't forget to brush your teeth after you finish reading...

Spoilers: This is a happy fantasy world future fics... so none, except for the frog, and I'm not sure that counts as a spoiler anyway

AN: My wonderful sister gave me another two random numbers, 21 and 357 (paper and precious in tromana's list on the jello-forever board) so let's see where they lead me...

AN.5: Thanks to everybody who reviewed the first chapter. I'm glad you guys liked it...

**Paper/Precious**

Camden was trudging down the stairs on his way to the kitchen. He'd been up in the attic going through old stuff, looking for something interesting for his 'My Family' school project. His findings had been less than satisfactory. The box he was carrying was about as exciting as a math textbook.

"Mommy, why do we keep a box of paper animals in the attic? And why isn't there anything cool up there?"

Teresa looked up from the pasta sauce she'd been stirring. "You didn't find anything you can use?" She asked gently.

"No. Not really. All the stuff up there is... tedious." He slumped in one of the chairs.

"Right... how about I tell you about the paper animals while we wait for dinner to be ready. And after we're done I'll go up to the attic with you and help you search."

Camden rolled his eyes. "Sure."

"Okay, go on, pick one from the box and I'll tell you its story." She watched as the boy started rummaging around, picking up one piece of folded paper after the other, before discarding it. Finally he stretched out his hand towards her. Sitting on it was a blue-ish origami frog.

Teresa smiled. Of all the possibilities her very empathic son had chosen this one.

"That's Daddy's bribe."

Camden frowned. "Daddy bribed someone with a paper frog?"

"Yes, me. See, Daddy misbehaved at work and I was angry with him because of it and instead of apologizing he gave me that frog."

"Did you forgive him?"

"Not the very moment he put it down on the desk, no. But it did make me smile when it jumped."

"It can do that?" His eyes had turned big as saucers.

"Yes, of course," said an excited voice from the doorway.

"Daddy!"

Teresa watched as her son threw himself into Patrick's arms.

"How was the conference, Daddy? Did you see Uncle Wayne and Auntie Grace? Did you get me a gift? Was it warm in Cali-cali-california? Did you..."

"Slow down, buddy, before you trip over your own tongue. Yes, I saw Uncle Wayne and Auntie Grace and the honorary cousins. Would I forget to bring you a gift? Of course I wouldn't. It's in my suitcase just waiting to be given to the brightest little boy in the whole wide world. And yes, again, Cali-cali-california was very nice and warm and a real treat after the weather we've been having here. Now, give me a second to say 'hi' to your Mom and then we'll go look for that gift, okay?" He carefully set his son down and went to hug and kiss his wife, while Cam ran out of the room in search of his father's luggage. "Hey there, Mrs. Jane, how are you on this fine snowy day?"

"I'm great, dinner's almost ready. You should go change and get Camden's present."

"Will do. Where's my precious?"

"Isobel is staying over at Jeannie's house; they're having a slumber birthday party. Cam and I were going to make s'mores and watch a Pixar film later, as compensation for him being excluded from the pink princesses' private ball. How are the Rigsbys?"

"They're fine. Grace is pregnant again, but don't tell anybody, she's still keeping it a secret. Bruce is almost as big as his father by now."

"Are you kidding? He's only twelve years old."

"Daaaaaaddyyyyyy?"

Teresa sighed. "You should get going, you can tell me about our other godchildren during dinner."

Patrick grinned. "Admit it, Teresa, you think his impatience is adorable."

"Daaaaaaaaaaaadddddyyyy!"

They chuckled. "Or not."

He was almost by the door when he noticed the box filled with little origami creations. "Do you think I'm going to have to teach him my very secret 'frog jumping' trick?"

Teresa smirked. "Yes."

"Oh joy."

"What about her?" Camden's dark head appeared in the door.

"What about whom?" Patrick asked.

"Jolly Joy Rigsby, Daddy."

"Oh her, she was abducted by the desert fairies while I was visiting in Cali-cali-california. They gave her back, but only after Uncle Wayne had promised to come to the fairy ball in a tutu."

"You're lying!"

"Yes, I am. Come on, let's go get your present." Patrick gently steered his son out of the kitchen.

"Okay... I'll guess what it is!"

"I don't think so, champ!"

"I can do it. You know I can! It's a t-shirt saying 'California Surfer Boy'. It's light blue and it has green writing on it."

Back in the kitchen Teresa laughed. Like father like son.

**The end**

AN2: horribly sappy, so sweet you now have cavities, so fluffy-pink-cute it made your eyes hurt? Customer complaints will be forwarded to the author if you send in a review!


	3. Unprofessional I

Title: Unprofessional

Disclaimer: I do not own the mentalist

Pairings: Jello and RigsPelt

Warnings: occasional bad words

Rating T: due to the occasional bad words

Spoilers: No real spoilers, but if you want to be sure, don't read if you haven't seen the end of season 2.

AN: For the LJ Mentalist fic-meme. Prompt by youknowher: Grace/Lisbon (friendship), "the not dating co-workers rule". Don't forget to leave me a review.

**Unprofessional**

Rigsby and Van Pelt aren't talking to each other... I assume they had an epic fight. Probably about how Rigsby doesn't eat enough healthy food or about how Van Pelt perpetually forgets to close the drawers and closet doors. Not that she seems like the type to forget these kind of things, but we all have our little secret quirks, and the idea of 'Van Princess' being messy always helps me to get over my secret envy of how perfectly feminine she is.

"Lisbon, I just have to say... this is getting ridiculous!"

Looks like I'm not the only one who's annoyed. "I agree, Jane. This is why the CBI has the 'not dating co-workers'-rule. What are you planning to do about it?" Knowing him, nothing that helps.

"I was thinking we could lock them in one of the storage rooms back at the office. But first I need to get someone to install a camera in it; I don't wanna miss the blow-out." He rubs his hands together, a mischievous smirk all over his face.

"Thirteen."

"Thirteen?"

Score one for me, he's confused. "Actually, I'll go with twelve."

"Twelve what?"

Go, Lisbon! "Years, Jane, years. Your mental age roughly corresponds to that of a twelve-year-old."

He pouts, "Even if that were true it wouldn't be a nice thing to say."

"So?"

"So... a wise woman once said 'If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.'"

I snort. "You call an animated bunny rabbit 'a wise woman'?"

"The fact that it was said by a cartoon rabbit does not make it less true!" He protests. Uh oh... there is big gesturing involved... I didn't _really_ hurt him, did I?

"Imagine you knew someone who lived in a glasshouse, what advice would you give them?"

"I'd probably tell them to shower in the basement."

I almost choke on my own tongue. Jane grins like he just won the World Series, then he motions over to one of the witnesses and says, "I'll just go over and ask him a few questions, okay?"

"As long as you take Cho or Rigsby with you."

"Why? I don't need their help."

"Remember what happened the last time you went to interview a witness by yourself?"

"Don't remind me, my nose hurts when I think about it."

"Exactly. Take Cho or Rigsby!"

"Fine, fine..." He walks over to Rigsby and claps him on the back. "Let's go, my giant grumpy friend."

As they walk away, Jane floating three feet in the air and Rigsby sulking up a storm, I exchange an amused grin with Cho. Unfortunately my good mood commits suicide when I turn around and see Van Pelt's sour expression. Time to play the mean, stupid, insensitive boss and give her a swift kick.

"Van Pelt, a word?" I walk away from the cluster of uniforms.

"Yes, boss." She sounds like she's halfway on the way to a full-blown hissy-fit. Really unprofessional and therefore unacceptable behavior.

"Listen, Van Pelt. I'm turning a blind eye to the incredibly unprofessional personal relationship that has developed between you and Rigsby, but if you don't get your attitude under control, I'll have to intervene for the sake of my team and my reputation as a very capable senior agent. If you don't start acting professional this instant, I'll have to sent you back to the office." I don't like threatening her with consequences... I'd much rather sit down for some girl-talk and bitch and moan about men. After all this might be Rigsby's fault and she might be righteously pissed. But I'm not her best friend, I'm her boss. And sometimes being in my line of work sucks.

"Oh that's just rich coming from you..."

Wait... what...? "I don't know what you're implying..."

"Oh please, like your relationship with Jane isn't personal or unprofessional. Especially with all the eye-sex and the fighting and the rule-breaking that you keep covering up..."

I want to give her the verbal whiplash she so richly deserves, but I am completely dumbstruck. Speechless.

To my surprise I don't have to say anything at all, because apparently Van Pelt had no idea what she was saying a moment ago and is as shocked about it as I am.

"Oh my God... I am so sorry... I..."

Oh no, no-no-no-no no. She's breaking _Rule One_: Never cry at a crime scene if you want your male chauvinist colleagues to take you seriously.

"Ah... look, why don't you go back to the car and start researching the deceased, witnesses and so on. We're almost done here. I'll ask the guys to drive back with Jane, so we can talk about what just happened here. Okay?" I walk a very thin line between gentle and boss-like, but apparently it works because Grace nods and blinks the tears back before turning around and walking back to the cars.

I give the crime scene a quick once over, while I try to sort through my pretty chaotic thoughts. She can't be right. My relationship with Jane is unconventional, sure. But unprofessional? Unbidden thoughts of emerald necklaces and ponies enter my mind. Followed by even worse ones of hidden glances, hugs, dancing and the occasional very (un)welcome hot dream. Oh god, I am so screwed.

**The end**

AN2: I'm in desperate need of a stupid joke to con you into leaving me a _review_... but nothing comes to mind... why don't you help me with it?


	4. Girl Talk and Storage Closets II

Title: Girl Talk and Storage closets

Disclaimer: I do not own the mentalist

Pairings: (Jello and) RigsPelt

Warnings: occasional bad words

Rating: K+ due to the occasional bad words

Spoilers: No real spoilers, but if you want to be sure, don't read if you haven't seen the end of season 2.

AN: So my anonymous/not-logged-in reader AM (nice nick btw) asked for a sequel to _Unprofessional_ with the prompts 'storage closets' and 'girl talk'... for my purposes I switched them round. I had already implied that Grace and Lisbon were going to talk on the drive back to the office... so that's what they'll be doing here...

AN.5: Thanks to everybody who reviewed Unprofessional. Lysjelonken: I enjoyed writing her, even if she was a tad OOC; Jisbon4Ever: Eye Sex is something I discovered over on Stargate: Atlantis and I just thought the term fit them nicely; AM: here it is, hope you'll enjoy it! Anna: Glad you like them!

**Girl Talk and Storage Closets**

We're sitting in the SUV on our way back to the office. Grace is busy saying she's sorry. Over and over again.

"Grace!"

Her head snaps up at my unusual use of her first name.

"Listen, I get it... you overreacted. It happens occasionally and I'm just glad it happened in front of me and not one of the guys." I take a deep breath.

When I first went to college I didn't know anything about intermediating 'girl style'. I grew up with three younger brothers. After my mom's death I was too busy raising them to spend my time fighting and making up with my girlfriends. So when I first arrived at College and had my first fight with my roommate... I tried to solve it 'boy style' (lots of bravado, hardly any acknowledgement of guilt, stupid jokes). Thankfully Kelly had grown up with brothers, too, and knew exactly what I was trying to say. She was a great teacher when it came to gushing, giggling, and general girlishness. Boy, am I glad I allowed myself to learn from her instead of shutting her out. Of course there is still a touch of abrasiveness whenever I try one of her methods.

"I know it's difficult to be a woman working in what is still considered a man's job. If we weren't in law enforcement there'd be a lot more leeway for us to occasionally be bitchy and difficult and in a bad mood. Occasionally, because you and I would probably still be working in a high-stress, high-education kind of job and not, say, a diner or a boutique or any of the other places that encourage feminine behavior. But we chose to be agents, and unfortunately that means we have to do everything twice as well as the guys if we want to succeed. Not that I would allow Rigsby or Cho to sulk. If we had been there any longer I would have given Rigsby the same warning I gave you. You were just closer at the time."

While I'm talking Van Pelt seems to cheer up a bit and I'm glad about that. I really do care about her, as I do about all the team.

"What about Jane?" She asks, while looking out the window.

The part of me that likes to hide from people wants to brush her off, but I'm pretty sure that would destroy any trust she has in me, and I need her to trust me. I need to know I can count on her following my orders out in the field.

"As you pointed out earlier, my relationship with Jane isn't exactly professional..." She tries to interrupt me, but I lift my hand in a 'hear me out' gesture. "Not because I don't want it to be professional. I think my life would be a lot easier if Jane was a normal person who respected other normal people's boundaries. But I think we can both agree that he isn't very good with that."

She nods. "Did you know that he blackmailed Wayne into going along with one of his schemes, by threatening to tell you about us?"

I turn my eyes away from the road to gape at her for a second. "You're kidding!"

"Nope."

"That manipulative blond rat."

Van Pelt snorts. "Yeah... you know I can think of worse ways to describe him."

I grin. "I bet."

I look over at her again, and she looks much better now; more relaxed and sure of herself. "There is one thing I need to make clear, before I invite you to start bashing your boyfriend – who I don't know and whose name you are not going to mention. You can not talk to me the way you did on that crime scene – ever – again. Got that? The next time that happens I have to take some sort of action and I don't want to do that."

"Yes, boss. I..."

"Don't you dare apologizing again! Now... what exactly did your boyfriend do to get you in such a horrible mood anyway?"

Van Pelt blushes slightly. Oh no, I so hope I did not just open the 'sex can of worms'. Because as much as I may sympathize with her having to deal with the fallout from their fight... there are just some things I do not need to know about my colleagues.

"It's stupid..." She sighs, and I suddenly have an inkling about what they were fighting about.

"Let me guess... something small, something that's not even really worth mentioning, something that just bugs you." I've had my fair share of relationships. Shortly before you end it you fight about the big things, sure. But when you're really just start getting closer, when you're still busy learning new things about each other, when you just dare to let your hair down... that's when you fight about how you squeeze out the toothpaste the wrong way, or about how he never closes the drawers.

"He never closes the drawers or closet doors. It drives me nuts."

I can't help the shocked look on my face. Rigsby and my ex share the same annoying quirk and apparently Van Pelt and I share the same pet peeve. Who would have thought? Suddenly I feel bad for imagining her being secretly messy when we were still at the crime scene.

"I know it's ridiculous..."

"Don't close them!"

She blinks. "What?"

"Don't close the drawers and closet doors."

"Why?"

"Because after he hits his shins at the drawers and his head at open closet doors for the umpteenth time, he's going to learn to close them himself."

Van Pelt stares at me... "Are you talking from experience?"

I roll my eyes in remembered annoyance. "Oh yeah! Hey how about we make a short stop? I feel like having a smoothie." It's a rhetorical question because I'm already pulling onto the curb next to a food store that sells a kiwi-mango smoothie that's to die for.

"I'd love to."

When we're back in the car Van Pelt looks at me as if she's trying to figure out if it's a good time to ask me a personal question. It's a look that seems to be very common among the people I work with. Most of the times I try to discourage them by using my most intimidating glare or by snapping orders and/or questions to get them back on track. But right now I'm in the car with Van Pelt drinking girlie-fruity-more-or-less-healthy drinks. So I guess it's okay if she asks. "Go on, ask."

"Ask what?"

"Whatever it is you're trying not to." I grin at her and she smiles back.

"I was just wondering... What is your biggest pet peeve when it comes to Jane?"

"I wish I knew... he has so many annoying qualities and traits that it's hard to decide. What's yours?"

She bites her lip as she thinks about it. "Calling Wayne out on his crush on me."

I remember (with fondness) all the times that Jane has embarrassed the two of them. "Yeah, that has got to be annoying when you're on the receiving end of it... for Cho and me it's always a lot of fun."

Grace rolls her eyes. "Of course it is..."

"I hate how he always has to have the last word." I admit. "And how he stupidly endangers everybody's lives. Oh, and don't get me started on the lying and the scheming and the 'I knew he was the murderer from the moment I met him, but I thought it would be fun to watch you running in circles'."

"Don't forget his need to piss off people, the more influential the better!"

"Why do we keep him around again?" We exchange a look. "He solves cases." We say it at the same time and start giggling a second later. Gosh it feels good to have some girl talk. I decide that I'm going to try to reach Kelly tonight. I haven't talked to her in ages and we have a lot of catching up to do. For some reason that reminds me of...

"He plans to lock you and Rigsby in a storage room," the words come out of my mouth on their own volition. As I admitted to Van Pelt earlier... I enjoy watching Jane play them, so telling her about his plans isn't the most intelligent thing to do.

"What?"

"I guess it's his twisted way of getting you to make up."

"Oh my god. It was him." Suddenly sweet Gracie sounds like an angry cat.

"What was him?"

"During my first two or three months on the team I got locked into small rooms with Wayne... oh... half a dozen times or so."

"Really? I didn't know about that."

"Yeah... it only stopped because I started to make sure not to enter small rooms when only Wayne was in them."

"Huh... must be Jane's way of match-making." I turn around a corner and the CBI building becomes visible in the distance. In my head I see a sudden picture... actually it's more like a movie. Jane, alone, in a storage room. All by himself. No one to annoy. Giving me the opportunity to go and interview the super rich guy the victim was working for. No interruptions, no insults, no questions that make the influential guy call Hightower and threaten both of our jobs. Just me and maybe Cho, doing what we do, doing it our own way. It's too good an opportunity to pass up. "Let's trap him."

Van Pelt's head whips round, her eyes as big as saucers. "Trap him?"

"Yeah! He's going to install a camera in one of the storage rooms. He wants to see the big blow-out. Let's trap him!" I pull into the parking lot and kill the engine. I turn to look at Van Pelt and see the same elation I can feel etched into my own features on her face.

"Oh yes! It's time he gets some of his own medicine."

"He richly deserves it!" I agree. "I can't wait to have an undisturbed day at work." I sigh.

"We've got to make sure it's a cleaning closet."

I frown. "Why?"

"Because if it's office supplies he's just gonna use a paper-clip to break himself out."

I nod. Maybe heading into this without a plan is a bad idea. "Van Pelt?"

"Yes."

"Let's post-pone this till tomorrow. Think you can keep fighting with Rigsby until then?"

"Sure, unless we decide to let him in on it." She suggests.

"Oh no, Jane reads Rigsby like Cho reads books. He'd know something was up immediately. We need to plan this very carefully, no screw-ups! Let's go for drinks after work, we can figure the details out then."

Grace nods. "I bet Jane'll use the opportunity to talk to Wayne, so we don't even have to worry about him following us."

I grin. "He won't know what hit him."

Van Pelt holds out the paper cup that contains the rest of her smoothie. "To Operation Storage Closet!"

I nudge my own cup against hers. "To victory over the one-who-is-always-victorious."

So I'm ratcheting the dramatics up a notch or two. By now I can't help myself. I'm high on sugary fruit concoction and girl talk. Tomorrow is gonna be FUN!

**The end **

AN2: So this time it is really the end. I am NOT writing a sequel to this!

AN3: sorry for the childish bit at the end... I just couldn't help myself. Jane deserves some payback every now and then and I think locking him into a small room all by his lonesome would drive him up the walls (well as long as there isn't a disturbing smiley there to keep him busy that is); also I realize that there is some OOC'ness going on here... again I just couldn't help myself... not very Jello either, I just couldn't fit it in.

AN4: Repeat slowly after me: I am going to leave a review, I am going to leave a review *uses Jedi mind trick gesture*


	5. Trapped III

Title: Trapped

Disclaimer: I do not own the mentalist... somehow I don't think you thought I did anyway.

Pairings: Jello, RigsPelt

Warnings: hm, bad words

Rating: T

Spoilers: None

AN: I want to make something very clear... I am not susceptible to the Jedi mind trick. The puppy dog eyes do me in every time, though... so here it is... the finally last chapter of my unintended series.

AN.5: Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Nata: yes sequel... thanks to you and AM... AM: I'm intending to use your prompts for a different project; I hope you're fine with that... waterbaby: I agree... that would certainly have worked. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

**Trapped**

I can not believe this happened. This was NOT supposed to happen. Not to me any way. I was supposed to be sitting in my office, acting all oblivious to the suspicious absence of my consultant, while he was supposed to be sitting in this closet (for about 3 hours, Grace and I agreed on that beforehand) without anyone to annoy, pester, trick, badger, plague, harrow, ail, afflict, bedevil, bother or trouble.

"Lisbon?"

I close my eyes, take a deep breath and count to ten. "Yes, Jane?"

"Why are you so angry?"

"Jane, I'm sitting in a storage closet with you, instead of in my office without you... and you ask me why I'm angry?"

He raises his eyebrows, intrigued. "Why would you think that you'd be alone in your office? I might be in there, too, if I wasn't in here."

Oh shit... "Because it's almost 2pm and you usually take your midday nap around this time." Deep breaths, Teresa, don't blush, don't look away. He's gonna buy it. He's gonna buy it. He has to buy it... He's... grinning like the cat that got the canary.

"You didn't actually think that you and Van Pelt would be able to lock me into a storage closet all by myself unless I allowed you to do so, did you?" There's a devilish little glint in his eyes that makes me want to kiss him... hit him. Makes me want to hit him.

"You knew?" I'm skeptical. How could he have known? We planned this so carefully.

"Yes, of course." Smugness personified.

"You knew we were going to lock you into a storage closet all by your lonesome so that we could have a quiet day at the office...? Wait a minute... Was that a twitch I just saw?" I grin, elation floods me. "You were lying! You hade no idea whatsoever we were going to lock you in here!" And am I glad about it. It means that Grace and I managed to get one over on him at last. It also means he isn't as infallible as he might want to think.

"Well, yes, I didn't know you were going to lock me into a boring storage closet... I did however know that something was up the second I saw you clink paper cups in the SUV. AND I managed to not end up locked in here all alone, but with my favorite CBI agent."

Damn him.

I massage my temples, I can feel a major headache coming. And I've only been in here for 23 Minutes. It's gonna be 157 minutes till I can hope to be rescued.

"Lisbon?"

"Shut up, Jane!" I growl without looking up. Being in close proximity with him always makes me skittish, but this is way worse. Stuck in a small room with nothing to keep me occupied, no weapon (why did I foolishly leave it in my office?), no coffee and no food... with Jane, Hightower's golden (haired) boy. Nothing to keep me from thinking about all the things we could be doing in this storage closet. All the things that would be so much more interesting... so much more delightful... All the things that will never be because of my trust issues, his dead wife, and the rules that condemn both of us as delinquents if we so much as look at each other the wrong way.

"Lisbon? Lisssssbonnnn? Lis-bon? Li-li-li-li-li-lisbon?"

"SHUT. UP. JANE!" So much for being an adult and keeping my voice down. Maybe childishness is contagious.

"Make me." He doesn't yell, no, he has the nerve to whisper his challenge.

I stare wide eyed at him for a moment. Then I make my move.

JLJLJLJLJL

_Meanwhile, outside the closet _

"You think they're okay?" Rigsby's worried.

"They're fine. They're just... quiet." So is Van Pelt.

"It's just... are you sure they're okay? It's been almost four minutes and we all know Jane can't keep his mouth shut for that long." He's right about that one.

"I wonder what they're doing in there." No. You don't. You just don't realize that...yet. Time to put 'Prince Rigsby' and 'the Little Mermaid' out of their misery by telling them the obvious.

"They're either making out like high school kids or Lisbon is contemplating how to get rid of Jane's body." That said I return to my desk. I don't want to be caught anywhere near that closet when the boss finally makes her escape.

**The end**

AN: I assume everybody guessed whose point of view that last part was supposed to be ;) ... now, you know the drill... Reviews please... tell me what you think... oh also... I know I've been calling wolf for the last two chapters, but this is officially it. It feels good where it ended... I have an abandoned dark/serious version of this that I might update if I ever manage to write an ending for it... and I am planning on using AM's prompts from the last chapter for another project that will hopefully stop crowding my head (by being written) soon.


	6. Lunch

Title: Lunch

Disclaimer: I do not own the mentalist... *whine* I get sooo tired of saying that!

Pairings: none, this is friendship fluff and humor

Warnings: None

Rating: K (not a bad word in it... my mommy would be so proud!)

Spoilers: None

AN: So, the project I had in my head isn't very forthcoming at the moment... and I have almost an hour to kill (it's 9:36am I have to leave for Uni at 10.30 sharp) ... and I don't feel like working on my lousy, horrible, stupid presentation (mobile learning sucks)... so I'm writing instead.

AN.5: Thanks to everybody who reviewed the last chapters... i don't have time for individual comments because i have to leave in like a minute... still i really appreciate your feedback!

**Lunch**

"Stop it!"

"Stop what, Jane?"

"Stop stealing my lunch! If you want French Fries so badly, get your own!"

Jane sounds annoyed, but I'm not buying it. We're at a small diner in this picturesque little town our latest 'serious crime' (read gruesome murder) took place at. Jane's eating French Fries and a hamburger. I've opted for the chicken salad. It's delicious, but the fries are calling my name and Jane's faked annoyance is an added bonus. I know he loves it when I give in to my impish streak, even though he'll probably never admit it.

"But I don't feel like eating a whole plate full of them. I just want to... sample... some. Make sure they're as perfect as they look." I put on my most innocent little pout.

He rolls his eyes. "Yeah, right. So were they?"

"Were they what?"

"Were the last fries that you stole from my plate as perfect as they looked?"

"Oh yeah..." I let out an exaggerated sigh before I try grabbing some more. "Ouch! That hurt!" I rub my hand where he slapped it.

"Drama queen..."

"You realize I could have you arrested for assault, right?"

He smiles his most condescending smile and says, "Please do. It's not like there's any judge out there who hasn't got a grudge on you, and who won't thank me for trying to rein you in. I'll walk minutes after the hearing started. Also, I'll get a nice little vacation from work, criminals, you..." His words are dripping with smug.

"Yeah, right. Knowing you you'd spent your vacation watching tv and doing paper work. You have no idea how to have fun."

"You have no idea how much paper work I wouldn't have to wade through if it wasn't for you and your childish behavior..." There is a high pitch in his voice that is just hilarious and I can't help it... I start laughing.

At that point Rigsby, Cho, and Van Pelt burst out laughing at well. Jane leans back in his chair, a content grin on his face.

"I am never betting against Hightower again." I declare once I've managed to stop giggling.

Jane nods. "Yeah..."

"How long exactly do you have to act like that? Because I don't think I'll get any work done till you're, you know, done." Rigsby asks.

"Another 4 hours. We can act like ourselves again as soon as we're done working for the day." Jane answers.

"Well, I think we should get going then, because I have witnesses to annoy!" I say as I get up.

"Aren't you forgetting something, Lisbon?" Cho is looking up at me expectantly.

"I don't think so, why?"

"Because Jane usually pays for lunch and since you're supposed to be acting like him..." He trails off, leaving the implication hanging in the air.

I roll my eyes and start digging for the money in my handbag, when Jane says, "But on special occasions Lisbon usually pays, and I'd say this is one of them..." He puts some bills on the table and gets up as well.

A thought crosses my mind. I can't do that... can I? It's the kind of thing he _would_ do though... and since I'm supposed to act like him... oh whatever... here goes...

"Thanks, Jane, that's very nice of you." I walk up to him and kiss him on the cheek before breezing out of the diner.

When I turn my head to look back there's shock written all over his face and I have to admit to myself that sometimes behaving a little more reckless might just be fun.

**The end **

AN2: And it is 10:24 am... I did it... whoohooo... this was inspired by AM's prompt 'lunch' and a plot bunny on the jello forever board (PhoenixWytch asked for a Role Reversal Fic with Lisbon as the mentalist and Jane as the lead agent... since it has already been done by someone else, I allowed myself to tweak it a little). Don't forget to tell me what you think... flames are welcome, too (could use some light on dark november evenings!)...


	7. Untitled

Title: **Untitled **

Disclaimer: I do not own the mentalist (and if I got a dollar every time I write this sentence I'd be rich by now... go figure!)

Pairings: Jello (probably)

Warnings: None

Rating: K

Spoilers: None, well... unless you haven't watched the first half of season 1, yet, but then everything is a spoiler ;)

AN: This is for Tromana's prompt Jane/Sophie, "Doctor/Patient Boundaries" ... and I am proud to say that it's exactly 100 words... I managed a drabble... Yay me!

AN.5 I forgot to thank jisbon4ever for reviewing the last chapter... and thanks lysjelonken for reviewing this one... I appreciate it (and btw I didn't like her either).

**Untitled **

"So... you and Lisbon..."

"Me and Lisbon... what?"

"Are you... um... you know?"

"Oh... you mean..."

"Yeah..."

"Well, I... we... it's really none of your business... is it?"

"I... You... I'm just trying to help."

"No, you're not. You're prying. I don't like it. You know that. It's not like I'm your patient anymore."

"It's not like we ever had a typical 'doctor/patient' relationship. You don't follow other people's rules. You're too lousy with boundaries to conform to what's considered normal."

"Most mental patients don't. What's your excuse then?"

"I'm... I care too much."

"You do."

"Yeah."

"So does Lisbon."

**The end**

AN2: I'm aware of the fact that this doesn't really deserve feedback since it's just sooo short but I'm gonna beg anyway because it's so much fun to plead with you to leave me a review... ;)


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